I cockslap morals
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
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When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
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You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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