Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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