my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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