White coat. Heels.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
