Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
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I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
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You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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