I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize