he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
