Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
