are you still at the devil's house?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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