I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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