But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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