Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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