I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
