you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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