My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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