Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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