I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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