brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
