i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
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Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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