at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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