yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
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I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
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I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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