have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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