You're so nebulous sometimes
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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