i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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