you traded sex for a burrito?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
