Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
