omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
