1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
ttyl tear gas
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
