Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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