Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
