I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize