Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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