Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
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I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
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Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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