I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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