Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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