omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
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First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
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This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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