Its about making memories worth repressing
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
