Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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