you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize