xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize