My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
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