Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
