Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
