Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize