it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
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you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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