This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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