this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
