Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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