I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize