i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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