My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize