When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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