So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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