i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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