I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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