everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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